tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46678698701898243282024-03-14T01:24:35.650-05:00HeartPoint with Dr. Ryan Noel FraserMy official blogspot related to ministry, counseling, and family matters. Also the home of my HeartPoint Podcast. I'm represented by Diana Flegal of Hartline Literary Agency.Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-73425659566921898342019-09-14T08:53:00.001-05:002019-09-14T08:53:09.693-05:00We Have Moved!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Greetings everyone! Just in case you missed the memo I shared back in May of this year, my blog has officially moved to <a href="https://www.ryannoelfraser.com/" target="_blank">RyanNoelFraser.com</a>. Please join me there for more Christ-centered, biblically based, practical posts (along with uplifting interviews with other authors) that will inspire you and strengthen your faith walk. Thanks for following me over to my new and improved site!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-48106392122787548632019-05-16T19:34:00.004-05:002019-05-16T19:34:50.097-05:00Moving to New Website & Blog<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4_oNu99qYm0/XN36pQqG_MI/AAAAAAAAJXs/HHqbITkAFnMLrxjqK2x_OleEGJW-sKVqQCLcBGAs/s1600/RNF-857-Final%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4_oNu99qYm0/XN36pQqG_MI/AAAAAAAAJXs/HHqbITkAFnMLrxjqK2x_OleEGJW-sKVqQCLcBGAs/s320/RNF-857-Final%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hello, faithful and loyal readers! Well, the time has come, at long last, for me to move my blog to a new, WordPress integrated site that includes my both my website and blog in a one-stop shop. I've been looking forward to this for a while now due to the stream-lining and simplification of my writing ministry that this transition represents. My new web address is <a href="http://ryannoelfraser.com/" target="_blank">ryannoelfraser.com</a>. I encourage you to join me and my friends there and to subscribe if you find my content of personal relevance and value to your life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On my new site, you can learn about my forthcoming book, <b><i><span style="color: #073763;">Overcoming the Blues: Finding Christ-Centered Hope and Joy through Serving Others.</span> </i></b>The work will be released by Skyhorse Publishing (New York) on September 3, 2019 and distributed worldwide by Simon & Schuster. I'm extremely humbled and excited about the possibilities and for the healing God has in store for those sufferers of depression the message of this book will reach.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you for keeping up with my work over the years. I truly mean it! And I hope to continue providing worthwhile, biblically-based, practical, and inspiring content for you in the years to come. May the God of peace be with you always!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Release Date: Sept. 3, 2019</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Available for pre-order on </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Blues-Finding-Christ-Centered-through/dp/1680994867/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=ryan+noel+fraser&qid=1558053142&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Amazon</a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, and many other sites now!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-13783622030011749492018-10-11T19:15:00.004-05:002018-10-11T19:15:42.523-05:00Will Our Children Have Faith?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the last forty years, out of all the books written in the field of spiritual development (or faith formation), few texts have exerted as great an influence as John H. Westerhoff III’s work, <i>Will Our Children Have Faith? </i>(Seabury, 1976). This seminal work, now in its third edition (2012), has been translated into six languages and studied by thousands of seminarians worldwide. Westerhoff’s concepts have guided many churches, parishes, religious conferences, seminaries, and universities in their Christian education programs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During his illustrious career as a practical theologian in Christian education, Westerhoff offered two separate theories of faith development. His initial four-stage theory was later reduced to three stages in <i>A Faithful Church </i>(1981). In his original four-stage theory, Westerhoff describes faith as growing like the rings of tree, with each ring adding to and reshaping the tree while building on previous growth. The four proposed “tree” rings involved in the growth process include the following:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The core of a person’s faith is that which we experience from our early years of childhood (or through exposure and reorientation to a new faith system). We are beneficiaries who receive the faith of those who nurture, teach and indoctrinate us. At this stage we are very impressionable and moldable. It shapes us in a particular spiritual way, leaving an indelible impression on our faith core.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Second, comes <b>Affiliative Faith</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As an individual gradually internalizes and exhibits the various beliefs, values, and religious practices of his/her family, social group or faith community, another ring is formed. During this stage, the person mimics the characteristics of the nurturing individuals and receives acceptance as a member of that particular faith tradition. This participation and self-identification may be formalized through a religious rite/ritual such as baptism, confirmation, placing church membership, or may simply be understood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IMhn3lDmpzY/W7_nX8YVfFI/AAAAAAAAIx8/mEPG3SMdWLIkl_Cp4TD-XFmn7COfTUkCACLcBGAs/s1600/affiliative.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="280" data-original-width="500" height="179" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IMhn3lDmpzY/W7_nX8YVfFI/AAAAAAAAIx8/mEPG3SMdWLIkl_Cp4TD-XFmn7COfTUkCACLcBGAs/s320/affiliative.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">During this stage of faith development, the individual often experiences a time of testing as peer expectations may either converge with or diverge from that of the religious group. When traditions, practices and values are similar, there is generally a good match and the person will merge his or her identity with that of the church or faith community. Little room exists for personal differences or preferences due to the group’s persuasive power and emphasis on unity and conformity in theological beliefs (orthodoxy) and practice (orthopraxy). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The deep psychological need to feel accepted, to belong, to feel secure, and to have a sense of power and identity that are derived from group membership are important factors in forming one’s faith during this time-period. It is usually during adolescence, at the earliest, that this level of faith is demonstrated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Third, there is <b>Searching Faith</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The process of faith development reaches a pivotal juncture when an individual becomes aware that his or her personal beliefs or lived experience may no longer be consistent with the faith community, or when one starts questioning certain fundamental beliefs, doctrines or religious practices. This uncomfortable, albeit growthful, dynamic occurs as one becomes aware of the reality that one’s faith has been shaped by others perhaps more than by one’s own personal study and conviction. Therefore, a decision must be made whether or not to buy-in, live out, and accept responsibility for a personal interpretation of one’s faith rather than merely accepting the religious community’s interpretation. During this stage, there is often experimentation in which individuals explore viable alternatives or make commitments to other persons or causes that may be appear potentially promising in establishing greater personal conviction and active practice of one’s faith.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Fourth, and finally, there is <b>Owned Faith</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This stage represents the culmination of the faith development process, and it finds fulfillment in the authentic expression of a personal faith. The person is no longer merely convinced, but they are truly converted to a particular religious system. By this point, the individual has reoriented his or her life, is fully invested, and now claims personal ownership of and responsibility for beliefs and practices. They are committed to not only believing, but also practicing and sharing their faith in a mature, faithful manner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">From my own limited perspective, five important factors seem to coalesce that influence a person’s faith development:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</style><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Clearly, these five factors are difficult to quantify and measure. Also two people may come from the exact same family of origin and end up in totally different places when it comes to their faith commitments. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Spiritual formation is no doubt a challenging process. Let us fervently pray that our children will indeed develop a healthy and robust faith.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f96GITGg4jk/W7_j4tCFxQI/AAAAAAAAIw8/Qkqfa3lPJ9sYoQ4rO8enze1xF5FlIjQqgCLcBGAs/s1600/Owning%2BFaith.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="333" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f96GITGg4jk/W7_j4tCFxQI/AAAAAAAAIw8/Qkqfa3lPJ9sYoQ4rO8enze1xF5FlIjQqgCLcBGAs/s320/Owning%2BFaith.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm proud to have contributed a chapter to a recent book on the general topic of spiritual formation entitled, <i><b>Owning Faith: Reimagining the Role of Church and Family in the Faith Journey of Teenagers</b></i>. The work is edited by Ron Bruner and Dudley Chancey, and it was published by Leafwood Publishers (2017). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The book is "a road map for parents and other adults who want to walk alongside youth on their spiritual journey and experience the amazing ways God empowers teens and adults to shape each other spiritually." My particular chapter is entitled, "Adoptive Parenting: Coming to Understand the Heart of God."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The book is available <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Owning-Faith-Reimagining-Journey-Teenagers/dp/0891124764/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1539302448&sr=8-1&keywords=owning+faith" target="_blank">here</a> on Amazon!</span>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-7033715309457686572018-09-08T07:15:00.001-05:002018-09-08T07:37:20.639-05:00Build Him Up! (Guest Post by Danielle Foisy)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OzCg53PfoV8/W5O1tikioLI/AAAAAAAAItQ/t2308EaLW8QVfKlc9p_X5iJMFeQ5KzE1QCEwYBhgL/s1600/Danielle%2BFoisy%2B%2528photo%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="246" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OzCg53PfoV8/W5O1tikioLI/AAAAAAAAItQ/t2308EaLW8QVfKlc9p_X5iJMFeQ5KzE1QCEwYBhgL/s1600/Danielle%2BFoisy%2B%2528photo%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm excited to introduce <b>Danielle Foisy </b>to you this week! It's a real blessing to have her as my special guest on HeartPoint. She has such a poignant and powerful message to share with individuals and families struggling with mental illnesses. I hope her wise suggestions will reach many people who need an extra word of encouragement and hope.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">About Danielle Foisy</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For years, Danielle worked in the secular workplace until God asked her to take a leap of faith and leave her career to start following God’s plan for her life. In the darkest and hardest times, while living with a husband who struggles with mental illness, she found there were not a lot of resources for the person who is supporting someone who is struggling. </span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zWAO7sBPqH0/W5O014PSxtI/AAAAAAAAItI/YxeakxcBdgMgMkFYIuQB29ih5sGlmNbGgCEwYBhgL/s1600/19366086_10102082686811939_4193883328307892503_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zWAO7sBPqH0/W5O014PSxtI/AAAAAAAAItI/YxeakxcBdgMgMkFYIuQB29ih5sGlmNbGgCEwYBhgL/s200/19366086_10102082686811939_4193883328307892503_n.jpg" width="160" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Her goal is to change that situation and start the conversation. She discovered writing to be a healthy coping mechanism to deal with the stress that comes with the role, and now she is using her platform to help others who are in the same role she is in. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Danielle lives in Haliburton, Ontario with her husband and family. When she is not wrangling her monkeys, namely two adorable young daughters, a son and puppy, they are out exploring the world. She enjoys adventures like </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ice climbing, rock climbing, and other exhilarating sports that give you grey hairs.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12pt;">So, without any further ado, <b><i>here's Danielle!</i></b></span></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz1t8mY4omUDNtGE5q0sAj6x7t56vQ_SiTy-_k6FxRXDpfEHMxNG2dU-G8LXuIO8zBxakx5LQLIXq8U8Qo4FA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: x-large;">Build Him Up!</span></span></h2>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My husband struggles with a chronic depression and has been making such amazing progress. The other night I told him how much progress he had made and it hit me how long it had been since I built him up. That, my friends, for a successful marriage should not be a foreign feeling!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">What I believe is so important is to build up our spouses. No matter what; when they look back, they need to see you as their biggest cheerleader throughout life. They need to feel your support because yours is the one that matters.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lvDzZ-qOpmA/W5O07uvnUPI/AAAAAAAAItE/-PZ7u8hL4dQJRY0hTJxhBFV-qvHULQhDACEwYBhgL/s1600/image-15-300x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lvDzZ-qOpmA/W5O07uvnUPI/AAAAAAAAItE/-PZ7u8hL4dQJRY0hTJxhBFV-qvHULQhDACEwYBhgL/s1600/image-15-300x300.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">The hardest part of this marital commitment is that there are many times they are undeserving of that support and praise, many times we are angry or fighting and the last thing you want to do is say something nice. But that’s Grace; that’s what we are called to do regardless of how we feel and regardless of how deserving they are. (I am by no means claiming to be good at this!)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">I heard once that men’s deepest desire is to be respected and women’s is to be loved. And the command that Christ gives us is to give what they need even if we are not receiving what we need. What this means is Respect even if you are not feeling the love you need. (I wrote another post about going to God to get our needs met…this may help here.) I am not saying to go on with your needs not being met, but what I am saying is we as individuals in this marriage are called to do what is right regardless of the other person. That is where our character is defined.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">So what are some practical ways we can tangibly do this? Here are a couple areas to start.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1"><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: x-large;">Always Support Their Dreams</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">One of the best pieces of advice I got from one of my mentors was this. She said 90% of them don’t come to fruition but they need to feel safe to dream around you, and supported by you while they do.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1"><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: x-large;">Try and compliment or build up your spouse ONCE per day at minimum.</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">It’s important to be intentional in your daily interactions with your spouse. The enemy will plant lies in your head and your spouses, but you building them up, it can squash those lies right in their tracks before Satan gets a real foothold.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1"><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: x-large;">Trust Him</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">As the leader of the home, we need to allow that leading to be supported. In our home, I have the strong personality and my husband is a lot more timid. It’s really easy for me to overshadow and take over that leadership role. I constantly have to humble myself and give back the reins. By trusting him, for example in decisions about our family, our finances etc. I can allow him to lead us, but also show him I trust where he will lead us. I’m not going to get into submission in this post because that is a whole other can of worms. I am just saying and asking that you give your husband opportunities to lead your family and show him you trust that leadership.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1"><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: x-large;">Build him up SPIRITUALLY, EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NryzOCn6BBY/W5O1CoDQ5eI/AAAAAAAAItE/iJUvAeBCFrUC803_Rbf84y2iV9otmSbCACEwYBhgL/s1600/image-18-300x225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NryzOCn6BBY/W5O1CoDQ5eI/AAAAAAAAItE/iJUvAeBCFrUC803_Rbf84y2iV9otmSbCACEwYBhgL/s1600/image-18-300x225.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">You are the opinion that matters most, your criticism hurts more than anyone else’s. Keep this in mind with your words, they have power especially to our spouses. There are many times I have said damaging things while angry to my husband that were not worth the pain they caused him during a moment of weakness I fell into. I encourage you to build up each area of your spouse and continually remind them.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="s1">Remember how important you are, remember your words matter and remember you have the power to build up or tear down but the choice is yours alone.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);">____________________________________________________________________</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>About Danielle's Book: <i>The Other Side of the Struggle: Supporting a Spouse Who Struggles with Mental Illness or Depression</i></b></span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MmpNxpjFHrU/W5O1EtehwBI/AAAAAAAAItI/KFf43e5lTqEdARYH92LSHt8DTYY25DV3QCEwYBhgL/s1600/The-Other-Side-of-the-Struggle-Front-Cover-REVISED-6-6-17%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1201" data-original-width="806" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MmpNxpjFHrU/W5O1EtehwBI/AAAAAAAAItI/KFf43e5lTqEdARYH92LSHt8DTYY25DV3QCEwYBhgL/s320/The-Other-Side-of-the-Struggle-Front-Cover-REVISED-6-6-17%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="214" /></a><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Danielle’s spouse battled an undiagnosed and untreated mental illness that was taking her family down and almost destroyed it. During this time, she started a blog where she wrote about their struggles and journey. Danielle found it to be therapeutic as well as it becoming a voice for so many silent sufferers of mental illness and their supporters. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Since writing this book, they have learned more about mental illness and how to manage and control it, and believe God allowed them to go through such a difficult time to relate to others in similar circumstances and to bring people who are suffering back to him with their testimony. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The goal of this book is not only to reach other supporters of those who struggle with mental illness, but to raise awareness that mental illness needs to start being talked about within churches and Christian communities. The goal is to challenge the church to be a safe place for those who are struggling or supporting those who are struggling, and to advocate for those face the shame and stigma within the church for struggling with mental health issues.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">#TheStruggleIsReal Blog: <a href="https://www.daniellefoisy.com/" target="_blank">DanielleFoisy.com</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-33603382635588455802018-08-31T06:35:00.002-05:002018-08-31T07:11:22.085-05:00Self-Control: How to Get a Grip on Yourself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AiyGFYe73_4/W4km9PSGGnI/AAAAAAAAIq4/JnE-NiKwAoY1RbTu8RgJfe4LE8Qm1i5LwCEwYBhgL/s1600/self-control.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="799" data-original-width="1200" height="213" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AiyGFYe73_4/W4km9PSGGnI/AAAAAAAAIq4/JnE-NiKwAoY1RbTu8RgJfe4LE8Qm1i5LwCEwYBhgL/s320/self-control.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Have you ever
totally lost your cool and flown off the handle? In the heat of the moment, you
felt completely out of control. It was almost like a demonic force had taken
possession of your body, mind, and mouth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Perhaps you’ve
struggled with self-control as it relates to an addiction of sorts or to some embarrassing
excess in your life. Maybe it has felt nearly impossible to get a grip on
yourself, because you struggle to muster up the necessary willpower and
self-discipline, which seem to evade your reach.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It’s not
uncommon as human beings to find ourselves saying and doing foolish things,
which are obviously not very well thought through. We act both impulsively and
compulsively. And when it’s over and too late, we sorely regret what we’ve done.
It’s extremely exasperating, not to mention embarrassing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We can often
be our own worst enemies when it comes to holding back our tempers, maintaining
proper sobriety, curbing our physical and sexual appetites, and avoiding impulse
buys. Self-restraint is much easier said than done! So many times I’ve wanted
to smack myself on the forehead and shout at myself, “What is the world ever
possessed you to say/do that – you big dummy?!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Many of my
counseling clients confess various humiliating indiscretions and improprieties
like affairs, pornography, gambling, drug and alcohol abuse, angry outbursts,
or even shoplifting. Shame and remorse usually accompany these deep personal regrets
and compunctions.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">I’m not sure
about you, but I can definitely relate to the apostle Paul’s frustration when
he exclaims in Romans 7:15, 18-19 (ESV), "</span><span style="color: #783f04;">For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I
want, but I do the very thing I hate…<span style="font-size: 13.3333px;"><b> </b></span>For I know that
nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to
do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want,
but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing."</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Self-control is mentioned by Paul in
Galatians 5:23 as the final fruit of the Spirit. Perhaps he saved the most
difficult one for last in his well-known list. He knew from personal experience
and, no doubt, from observation of others just how difficult it is to achieve
this Christian virtue in view of the inordinate amount of willpower it
requires. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">During the late hours of the evening in the Garden of Gethsemane,
Jesus said to his drowsy disciples, </span><span style="color: #cc0000;">"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak"</span><span style="color: black;"> (Matt. 26:41, ESV). </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In 2 Peter
1:6, the apostle Peter admonishes his readers to supplement spiritual knowledge
with self-control. Knowing what is right versus doing what is right are two
very different things. So how may we go about exercising better self-control in
our lives?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><b>First,
consider the consequences of your actions. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">Think it through before reacting.
How will speaking or acting in a certain way impact other people, and what
might the eternal ramifications be for yourself? Hebrews 11:24-25 (ESV) says, "</span><span style="color: #783f04;">By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused
to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing
rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting
pleasures of sin."</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Second, keep
your eyes focused on Jesus, the founder and finisher of your faith (Heb. 12:2). </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Look to his perfect example of meekness and self-restraint when facing severe
stress in his own life. He consistently said “No” to the devil and “Yes” to
God!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Third,
surround yourself by trusted friends who will help to hold you accountable to
yourself. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Confession and prayer are powerful tools that are good for the soul
and efficacious (James 5:16).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8PelwROwueI/W4km50ak9PI/AAAAAAAAIq8/fMqG5vpl5FYBHbCec6BJYqWnHZkN_n4FwCEwYBhgL/s1600/How-to-Increase-Self-Control.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="349" data-original-width="620" height="180" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8PelwROwueI/W4km50ak9PI/AAAAAAAAIq8/fMqG5vpl5FYBHbCec6BJYqWnHZkN_n4FwCEwYBhgL/s320/How-to-Increase-Self-Control.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><b>Fourth, come
up with a viable alternate strategy in advance. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">Preparation and practice make
more perfect. Rather than being caught off guard in situations that bring out
the worst in you, develop a playbook in your mind so that you are more likely
to respond appropriately when you’re blindsided. Joseph ran from sexual temptation
when it had him in its sordid grip (Gen. 39:12).</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Fifth, and most importantly, put your
faith in Christ and don’t rely on your own strength or insight. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Proverbs 3:5-6
(ESV) says, <span style="color: #783f04;">“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not
lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and
he will make straight your paths.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The challenge to develop greater self-control and mastery over our
depraved human urges and impulses is a never-ending quest. It is an important
part of living a grace-filled, Christ-centered life.</span></span><!--EndFragment-->
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-4762047666108574782018-08-20T08:24:00.001-05:002018-08-20T12:42:08.231-05:00The Power of Humility<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jJw02uqJ04c/W3qv7azjz1I/AAAAAAAAIl8/w6N_VQ26BgUGjNEOR46V0vdvvKej3yFrgCEwYBhgL/s1600/Humility.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="160" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jJw02uqJ04c/W3qv7azjz1I/AAAAAAAAIl8/w6N_VQ26BgUGjNEOR46V0vdvvKej3yFrgCEwYBhgL/s320/Humility.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the past few years, humility studies have come into vogue in the field of psychology. Researchers have rediscovered the psychosocial benefits of humility in personal mental health and relationship satisfaction (<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brainsnacks/201501/the-paradoxical-power-humility" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">PsychologyToday.com</span></a>).<o:p></o:p></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Michael W. Austin, Ph.D., says, "Humility has been linked with better academic performance, job performance, and excellence in leadership. Humble people have better social relationships, avoid deception in their social interactions, and they tend to be forgiving, grateful, and cooperative. A recent set of studies also shows that humility is a consistent predictor of generosity. People who are humble tend to be more generous with both their time and their money" (<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ethics-everyone/201206/humility" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">PsychologyToday.com</span></a>).</span><br>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ID3Iu5mfSjA/W3qv_StWkiI/AAAAAAAAImA/kYraj0jBIYsK95Fp5DSC5Ud6vZllqgLdgCEwYBhgL/s1600/humility-med.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="213" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ID3Iu5mfSjA/W3qv_StWkiI/AAAAAAAAImA/kYraj0jBIYsK95Fp5DSC5Ud6vZllqgLdgCEwYBhgL/s320/humility-med.jpg" width="320"></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The above findings should come as no real surprise to Christians in light of the teachings of God's Word. However, without a doubt, we live in a narcissistic world. Self-promotion and self-aggrandizement are part-and-parcel of our secular culture. Social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, Pinterest and YouTube tend to perpetual this societal epidemic.</span><br>
</div><a href="http://ryannoelfraser.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-power-of-humility.html#more"></a>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-21316801241403493952018-08-15T18:13:00.000-05:002018-08-15T18:13:24.557-05:00Finding My Oasis in Jesus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3X8jchK750c/W3SwmO5B3xI/AAAAAAAAIjk/BeDqkWOqr7Y3GT1HFC_YQlGgZYzGJN9zgCEwYBhgL/s1600/Judean%2Bwilderness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="334" data-original-width="595" height="179" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3X8jchK750c/W3SwmO5B3xI/AAAAAAAAIjk/BeDqkWOqr7Y3GT1HFC_YQlGgZYzGJN9zgCEwYBhgL/s320/Judean%2Bwilderness.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What comes to your mind when you think of the desert? Back in January, my wife and I were blessed to experience the Judean Wilderness first hand. It was amazing to see the Qumran community, Masada (one of Herod’s mountain fortresses) and the Dead Sea. But, wow, was it ever barren and dry there!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Usually, when I visualize the desert, the following things and images are conjured in my imagination: intense heat, endless sand dunes, surreal landscapes, mirages, carcasses, scant vegetation like cacti, camels, Bedouins living in tents, little water, venomous snakes, poisonous lizards, and death.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Although some people may consider deserts to be beautiful and mysterious places, those landscapes are dangerous deathtraps. As Christians, there are times it may feel like we’re stuck in and surrounded by a never-ending desert.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://ryannoelfraser.blogspot.com/2018/08/finding-my-oasis-in-jesus.html#more"></a>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-16429685275285546292018-08-14T11:27:00.000-05:002018-08-14T21:20:37.891-05:00Calling All Dads!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As my children are growing older and becoming increasingly more self-sufficient and independent in their lives, I find my respective role to gradually be changing. For instance, these days it seems they need me less as a corrector and more as a confidante; less as guardian and more as a guide; less as a chaperone and more as a coach; and less as a manager and more as a mentor. While their needs are surely shifting, they still need me to be in their lives in different, though equally important, ways than when they were younger.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You see, dads never stop being dads no matter how old their children are. We must remain available to our kids as they grow older, hit important milestones, and experience various challenges and struggles in their lives. It’s a life-long commitment. </span></span></div>
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</div><a href="http://ryannoelfraser.blogspot.com/2018/08/calling-all-dads.html#more"></a>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-70591643814563201632018-08-06T08:23:00.001-05:002018-08-14T21:00:40.187-05:00The Making of a Family<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1lKsVfIGcGo/W2hK0FBRE3I/AAAAAAAAIh0/yKreBpb7Z1o_cM7vUEgtYQx0IVuUZfOYACLcBGAs/s1600/familypic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="1160" height="182" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1lKsVfIGcGo/W2hK0FBRE3I/AAAAAAAAIh0/yKreBpb7Z1o_cM7vUEgtYQx0IVuUZfOYACLcBGAs/s320/familypic.jpg" width="320"></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">God in his great love and infinite wisdom gave us families. In our families we are intended to discover our identity, strength, nurturance, and growth. However, there is no such thing as a perfect family. Because humans are flawed and sinful creatures, our families often struggle with many problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Let’s face it – living in families can sometimes be tough! Selfishness, stubbornness, and sin have a way of creeping into our homes and often taking over.<span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When I stand up to preach on Sundays, I’m looking at dearly beloved people in the congregation, despite the reality that they often come from broken homes resulting from divorce, single-parent households, blended/step families, and families in which grandparents are caring for their grandchildren.</span></div>
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</div><a href="http://ryannoelfraser.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-making-of-family.html#more"></a>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-61534919051495421402018-07-11T07:24:00.000-05:002018-08-14T21:29:59.364-05:00Losing My Baby Girl, But Gaining a Son-in-Law<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2OTLCLVUSI8/W0X1R03L_pI/AAAAAAAAIds/LTr8T7zc19cDbSnxDjWUIn-FsdFKEg7pACLcBGAs/s1600/Olivia%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2OTLCLVUSI8/W0X1R03L_pI/AAAAAAAAIds/LTr8T7zc19cDbSnxDjWUIn-FsdFKEg7pACLcBGAs/s320/Olivia%2B5.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ice-skating with Olivia in Michigan</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I love being a dad. There is a pleasure to it that’s hard to describe. I’ve been a father for 20 years and have been blessed, along with my wife, with a couple of great children. I’m truly thankful.</span></span><br>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">About a year ago, as my daughter Olivia was getting ready to begin her college career, she talked to me about her anxieties of perhaps not being able to find a suitable future husband. At the time I reassured her that she would have many opportunities to meet good prospects and date Christian guys and also that she shouldn’t worry about getting married at such a young age. I told her that even if she didn’t meet and fall in love with her future husband in college, that—Lord-willing—the right guy would come along soon enough. I assured her that God would provide when the timing was right.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "arial";"><br></span></span></span>
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Looking back now, the ironic thing is that I had already met her future fia</span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "arial";">ncé and just hadn’t realized it. He (Dalen Ledingham) had actually been an upper-division student of mine at Freed-Hardeman in my “Family and Individual Counseling” class during the spring semester of 2017, right before Olivia graduated from high school. In fact, he had been one of my very best students and sat attentively on the front row.</span></span></span><br>
</div><a href="http://ryannoelfraser.blogspot.com/2018/07/losing-my-baby-girl-but-gaining-son-in.html#more"></a>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-30243127419593258332018-06-07T09:36:00.000-05:002018-08-14T21:05:56.194-05:00Spiritual Sensor Malfunction<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d3MS76WwH_U/WxlCODpm2rI/AAAAAAAAIZg/486WLYHAv6UJbR2m4xLMAgWDjJ7ho_NVwCLcBGAs/s1600/IISTD%2BOil%2BLight%2BOn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="667" data-original-width="1000" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d3MS76WwH_U/WxlCODpm2rI/AAAAAAAAIZg/486WLYHAv6UJbR2m4xLMAgWDjJ7ho_NVwCLcBGAs/s320/IISTD%2BOil%2BLight%2BOn.jpg" width="320"></a><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I drive a slightly older F-150 Ford pick-up truck. It generally runs pretty good though it has a few quirks and <span style="caret-color: rgb(26, 26, 26);">idiosyncrasies</span>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">Recently, I drove in it, along with a deacon from church, to the other side of Atlanta, Georgia, (to Duluth) to assist a husband and wife evangelistic ministry team as they transition to Tennessee to work under the oversight of our church’s elders. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">With a flatbed trailer in tow, the first leg of our journey from Selmer, Tennessee to Tupelo, Mississippi went relatively well. However, my engine temperature gauge began spiking whenever I exceeded 60 miles per hour. Of course, this warning was of concern to us. But we really got worried when the red low oil pressure warning light came on. We pulled over to the side of U.S. Highway 78 into a gas station to check it out and popped the hood. Strangely enough, everything looked okay: the engine coolant expansion tank was still full, the oil dipping stick revealed the oil to be just fine, and the motor didn’t seem to be running hot at all.</span></span></div>
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</div><a href="http://ryannoelfraser.blogspot.com/2018/06/sensor-malfunction.html#more"></a>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-53401879827660946252017-11-16T17:43:00.001-06:002018-08-14T21:30:50.385-05:00Twelve Strategies for Alleviating Depression<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0l1YtH84Tvk/Wg4iK4xqhZI/AAAAAAAAIAc/6CF6p25CHaosqSm767fA3vrWZftihzIywCLcBGAs/s1600/Letting-Go-of-the-Thoughts-That-Cause-Depression-722x406.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="406" data-original-width="722" height="179" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0l1YtH84Tvk/Wg4iK4xqhZI/AAAAAAAAIAc/6CF6p25CHaosqSm767fA3vrWZftihzIywCLcBGAs/s320/Letting-Go-of-the-Thoughts-That-Cause-Depression-722x406.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Sometimes, depression can seem like an impossible mountain to overcome. You may feel totally defeated in your ongoing battle with it. But, please take heart, because there are several effective ways to alleviate depression. Here are 12 practical suggestions for you to consider.</span></span></div>
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<b style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br></span></b></div>
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<b style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;">1. Recognize the signs</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">. Pay close attention to clues indicating that depression may be present in your life. If interaction with people is increasingly distressful,
and if you find your self constantly withdrawing, you may be depressed. If you're
unable to control your appetite, misusing alcohol, or overeating, depression
may be lurking nearby.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">If you're experiencing many aches and pains for which there is no real
physical basis, this may signal an emotional problem. If you've lost interest in
activities, which used to bring pleasure, such as hobbies, and there is also lowered libido, depression may be present. If you struggle with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, and if death
seems to offer a way out, you're likely depressed.</span></div>
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<b style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;">2. Re-analyze the feelings</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">. Once you identify your depression, attempt to analyze the specific feelings associated with
it. Why do you have these feelings? What triggers them? When are they triggered? Are they proportionate to the
event which triggers them? Remember, some depressions result from loss. If this can be identified, allow your self to
experience the sadness about the loss without feeling guilty about the emotion. </span></div>
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</div><a href="http://ryannoelfraser.blogspot.com/2017/11/twelve-strategies-for-alleviating.html#more"></a>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-83187989554095196652017-08-15T03:07:00.002-05:002017-08-15T03:07:45.387-05:00Garage Sale Treasure: Lost and Found<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ntYSfMukOhY/WZKpMGk6aKI/AAAAAAAAH6g/qMDkTxs_CRQ__vsG9EHT9KEhjYiUZIuMQCLcBGAs/s1600/Garage-Sale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="372" data-original-width="672" height="177" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ntYSfMukOhY/WZKpMGk6aKI/AAAAAAAAH6g/qMDkTxs_CRQ__vsG9EHT9KEhjYiUZIuMQCLcBGAs/s320/Garage-Sale.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This summer, my wife and I held a garage sale. Missy prepared for the event for several weeks and sorted through many boxes
of stuff taken from our storage shed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of the items she put up for sale was
a set of hot rollers. It had been a number of years since she’d last used them.
But they were evidently still in pretty good shape and someone took them off
our hands. We didn’t think another thing about it—that is until Monday morning
rolled around.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I
was outside in the driveway pulling a tarp over a trailer-load of decomposing
sawdust I’d just picked up for our flowerbed before the rain hit. It was
already starting to sprinkle. All of a sudden, a friendly looking elderly
gentleman peeked around the other side of the truck. He sort of startled me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Good
morning!” he said with a cheerful voice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Hello,
Sir, can I help you?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Well,
this past weekend I came to your garage sale and purchased a box of hair
curlers for my wife.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Oh,
you did?” I said, wondering if there was perhaps something wrong with them and
if he was about to ask for a refund.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But
then he continued. “Well, my wife was taking them out of the box to inspect
them, and she found this!” He held up a small 14k gold wedding ring that I
immediately recognized. “She figured that whoever this belonged to would surely
be heartbroken if they lost it and would likely want it back. So she asked me
if I remembered what sale I’d bought the hot rollers from. I told her I knew
exactly where I’d got them. Is this ring yours?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gIBroqY3q_M/WZKrIv-z33I/AAAAAAAAH6s/ACgIEr6bulwq9qP3afELAtPafB18IfNgwCLcBGAs/s1600/Wedding%2Bring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gIBroqY3q_M/WZKrIv-z33I/AAAAAAAAH6s/ACgIEr6bulwq9qP3afELAtPafB18IfNgwCLcBGAs/s320/Wedding%2Bring.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My
heart leapt. I recognized the ring right away and couldn’t believe this honest man
was actually returning it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Wow,
I’m speechless . . . thank you so much! That is definitely my wife’s wedding
band. She lost it more than 20 years ago. We looked everywhere for it but
couldn’t never find it.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In
retrospect, Missy had actually misplaced her wedding band nearly 27 or 28 years
ago. Interestingly enough, over the years she’d come to erroneously believe
that we actually returned it to the jewelry store for a refund after a few
months of marriage. The reason for this mistaken memory was that the ring was
slightly too wide for her dainty finger when positioned beside her broad
engagement ring band, causing it to rub uncomfortably on her knuckle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">However,
I’d never remembered us doing such an inconceivable thing. The very thought of
returning her wedding band for a refund was totally unthinkable to me on the
sheer principle of it alone. I simply could never bring myself to do such a thing,
as it would feel wrong to me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over
the years, I’d brought up the matter on a number of occasions, and we’d differed
in our recollection of the circumstances surrounding her missing wedding ring.
Though—to be perfectly honest with you—both of our memories had grown a bit
fuzzy on the issue.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now,
standing in front of me, was a man who had just found one of our relationship’s
most sentimentally meaningful objects. It was absolutely remarkable. I could
hardly believe it. And what made matters even more flabbergasting was how
perfect a shape the ring was still in after such a long time. It looked all shiny
and new, just like the day I put it on my wife’s finger and said, “With this
ring I thee wed.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I
was deeply touched that this kind stranger and his sweet wife from McNairy
County, Mr. and Mrs. McGhee, had taken the time and effort to return this
precious item to us, in the rain no less. It meant the world to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I
uttered, “Thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! My wife will be so overjoyed
to finally have her wedding ring back.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I
walked over to the vehicle in which Mrs. McGhee was patiently waiting in the
drizzling rain. I motioned to her and she rolled down her window. I told her just
how much I appreciated her finding and returning my wife’s wedding band.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She
smiled saying, “We know what it’s like to lose a wedding ring as my husband
lost his a number of years ago. It was devastating to us both. So, you’re most
welcome!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They
said goodbye and backed down the driveway, while I waved at them. I immediately
went inside the house and located Missy. I said to her, “Close your eyes and
put out your hand! I’ve got something very special for you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“What
is it?” she replied, half wary of my suspicious behavior.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Trust
me—you’re going to like it!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And
she did.</span></span></div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-38070927807736388682016-12-23T16:34:00.001-06:002016-12-23T16:34:19.938-06:00Honoring Your Deceased Loved Ones During the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In coping with personal grief and loss during the holidays, there are several practical ways to honor your deceased loved one(s). This short video explores some strategies for keeping the memory of your loved one alive in your mind and heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uEk5y4UA-MA/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uEk5y4UA-MA?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-36259460535088202562016-12-20T21:54:00.001-06:002016-12-20T21:54:16.949-06:00Grief and Expectations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/veGIhxBRxbg/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/veGIhxBRxbg?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One of the most difficult issues related to grief during the holidays has to do with expectations. These expectations may either be externally imposed or self-produced. Please extend some grace to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve in your own unique way. There's no "one-size-fits-all" pattern that you must follow.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><br /></span>
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<br /></div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-34149478895207216942016-12-15T20:14:00.001-06:002016-12-15T20:14:12.304-06:00Grieving with Hope During the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/BDJ5Ml-MRqk/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/BDJ5Ml-MRqk?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This can be a challenging
time of the year for those of you who have recently suffered a significant loss
in your life—maybe the death of a spouse or a child or parent. Or perhaps the
passing away of a close friend. And my heart goes out to you in this time of
grief. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It can be especially challenging
to know how to respond to this season of the year that supposed to be a time of
peace and joy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In 1 Thessalonians 4:13
(ESV), the apostle Paul gives some sage advice to <span style="color: #262626;">this
group of struggling Christians who</span> had recently suffered many losses. And
it says this: <i><span style="color: #783f04;">“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those
who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.”</span></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's my intention over the next few days to
bring hope and a balanced view on how to cope with grief and loss during this
season of the year. And to do it in a way that's faithful and that shows your
commitment to God—that you believe death is not a dead end.</span></span><!--EndFragment-->
</div>
</div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-39788877867905763692016-11-22T11:30:00.002-06:002016-11-22T11:30:57.699-06:00There's Grace in Thanksgiving<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q17Con0uO4I/WDR_-MlMz4I/AAAAAAAAGnw/VDsiaOzOOV4zKlXY7i0GJis8lOfRxsNqwCLcB/s1600/2015Gratitude20rock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q17Con0uO4I/WDR_-MlMz4I/AAAAAAAAGnw/VDsiaOzOOV4zKlXY7i0GJis8lOfRxsNqwCLcB/s320/2015Gratitude20rock.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #16191f;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thankfulness is a core virtue in Christianity and an important
attitude of heart. Of all people, as believers, we have so much to be grateful
for. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="color: #16191f;">Colossians 3:15-17 </b><span style="color: #16191f;">(ESV) states, </span><span style="color: #783f04;">“And let the peace of Christ
rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be
thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing
one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with
thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do
everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through him.”</span><span style="color: #16191f;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #16191f;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Paul reminds the Colossian believers three times in three verses
to be thankful. Why? Perhaps they, like we, also struggled with forgetfulness.
Maybe they took their blessings for granted. You see, we can only experience
true gratitude when we’re re-sensitized to our undeserved blessings from God. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #16191f;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But there’s more. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #16191f;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #16191f;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the English language we can easily miss
some of the subtle nuances present in the Koiné Greek in which the New
Testament was originally penned. In the original language, the word for “grace”
(<i>charis</i>) is literally located in the middle of the word for “thanksgiving”
(<i>eucharistos</i>). Now that's food for thought! We can catch a glimpse of this
reality in our word “grateful” that sounds a lot like “graceful.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kczCZw5bYCI/WDSAFAKgZpI/AAAAAAAAGn0/ZqGS7LLF3CcR6HrC0trM8oX3V_SY_cnRgCLcB/s1600/be-happy-no-thankful-173059-530-353_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kczCZw5bYCI/WDSAFAKgZpI/AAAAAAAAGn0/ZqGS7LLF3CcR6HrC0trM8oX3V_SY_cnRgCLcB/s320/be-happy-no-thankful-173059-530-353_large.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #16191f;">Grace is central to gratitude
or thankfulness. It’s embedded in the very notion of thanksgivin</span><span style="color: #16191f;">g. Therefore,
God’s graciousness ought to be reflected in our gratefulness.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #16191f;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #16191f;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy
Thanksgiving!</span></span>Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-61639585432671303562016-11-08T16:19:00.000-06:002016-11-08T16:19:08.379-06:00Lessons from Being Sick<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3arRStRjUYw/WCJN1N_NlpI/AAAAAAAAGiY/DfmvkNFmu8sz5IjAmGfYLEpG5Gb-0Sg_QCLcB/s1600/sick-person-631x421.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3arRStRjUYw/WCJN1N_NlpI/AAAAAAAAGiY/DfmvkNFmu8sz5IjAmGfYLEpG5Gb-0Sg_QCLcB/s320/sick-person-631x421.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A
couple of weeks ago I was rather ill. To be completely honest with you, I was a
pitiful mess. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">What
is commonly referred to as the “West Tennessee Crud”—in my nick of the woods—had
its vile way with me, sending me to bed for nearly five days. Even the stout antibiotics I was on seemed useless. About all I could
do was to eat chicken noodle soup and binge on Netflix. I’m only now starting
to feel more like my old self again. Halfway human that is.</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I absolutely hate being
sick. However, at about this time of the autumn each year, my immune system
craters and I’m knocked off my feet for a while. My allergic reaction to the
profusion of ragweed pollen floating around likely contributes the most to my
susceptibility to illness. It starts with me sneezing and having itchy eyes.
Then it progresses to a sore throat, next to respiratory problems and a hacking cough, and
ultimately to overall body aches. Perhaps you can relate to my pain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Despite the hassle and
discomfort of getting sick, I believe there are some </span><span style="color: black;">valuable lessons we can all learn from illness.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>First, sickness reminds us of our
mortality. </b></span>This body of flesh was never intended to last forever. It is
temporal. James 4:14 (ESV) asks, “</span><span class="selected"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #363030; padding: 0in;">What is your life? For</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #363030; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #363030; padding: 0in;">you are a mist that appears for a little time and then
vanishes.” For all the health crazes people go on, new fangled diets, exercise
regimens, elective surgeries, etc., our bodies eventually wear out and we die.
There’s no stopping it. Life—at best—is extremely brief.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #363030; padding: 0in;">Psalm 39:4 (ESV) pleads, </span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;">“O <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, make me know my end</span><span style="color: black;"> <span style="background: white;">and what is the measure of my days;</span>
<span style="background: white;">let me know how fleeting I am!” Psalm 102:11
observes, “My days are like an evening shadow;</span> <span style="background: white;">I wither away like grass.” In the scheme of
eternity, our life is but a breath. Physical sickness is symptomatic of our
finitude.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Keeping the brevity of
life in mind helps me to put things in their proper perspective. Those pressing
matters that seem so critically important in the moment often aren’t all that
significant in reality. Deadlines at work, professional presentations, and
major events will come and go, and—believe it or not—the world will keep on
spinning. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Second, sickness
reminds us that we’re not indispensable.</span></b> Human pride can sometimes give me the egotistical
idea that I am way more important than I really am. I’ve noticed that my
family, friends, colleagues, students, and congregation manage to get by just
fine when I’m out of commission for a while. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;">Proverbs 11:2 (ESV)
asserts,</span><span class="text"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"> “</span></span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;">When pride comes, then
comes disgrace,</span><span style="color: black;"> <span style="background: white;">but with the
humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 29:23 (ESV) says, “One's pride will bring him low,</span>
<span style="background: white;">but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.”
Galatians 6:3 (ESV) warns, “For if anyone thinks he is something, when
he is nothing, he deceives himself.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Third, sickness reminds us of our utter dependency upon God. </b></span>Everything I possess—including my
health—is a gift from God. Being ill helps me to be more thankful for times of
more robust health. I’m led toward gratitude for being blessed to experience
relatively good health during the year. This vitality is all too easily taken
for </span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;">granted—perhaps even
expected as if I am somehow entitled to it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Occasionally, it needs
to be brought home to me that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from
above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no
variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17, ESV).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Fourth, sickness
reminds us that it’s okay to love ourselves enough to take care of our own physical
and emotional health.</span></b> Sometimes, we get the mistaken idea that we’re unimportant
and, therefore, not worth taking care of, so we lose ourselves in taking care
of everyone else’s needs—all except our own. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jesus says, “You shall
love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39, ESV). While Christ’s focus here
is certainly on serving others, an easy point to miss is that it is also
permissible to love your self. Paul implies this significant concept when he
asserts, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,
just as Christ does the church” (Eph. 5:29, ESV). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, I doubt anybody really enjoys being sick, but we
can learn and grow because of it. That being said, I hope you stay healthy and well.</span></span><!--EndFragment-->
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-84748219444604124102016-10-06T08:15:00.001-05:002016-10-06T08:15:29.513-05:00What's Up with Great Dads?<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xGlywMU64Fo/V_ZJCCbVMII/AAAAAAAAGYk/Mryav0nzeT4utsx50n3j-pdNP47Jvkb9QCLcB/s1600/1100_why_kids_need_dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xGlywMU64Fo/V_ZJCCbVMII/AAAAAAAAGYk/Mryav0nzeT4utsx50n3j-pdNP47Jvkb9QCLcB/s320/1100_why_kids_need_dad.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fatherhood is challenging.
It’s far more difficult than I ever expected before becoming a dad almost two
decades ago. But “daddy-hood” is a tremendous blessing in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As my children are beginning
to get a bit older and my role is gradually shifting in their lives, I’ve
been doing a good amount of thinking about what it takes to be a great dad.
I’ll be the first to confess I still have a long way to go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what does it take to
become a great dad? Here are seven things to consider regarding what excellent
fathers consistently do:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-105LlHhuOns/V_ZJ-2GOVwI/AAAAAAAAGY8/WCiakccRPx42bVcusvs5XEToFJtvIVBwQCLcB/s1600/dad%2Bwith%2Bteen%2Bson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y6W-Kkh5vD4/V_ZJdQbPUfI/AAAAAAAAGYs/rn2WGqZE-IIrjlymeq9fW_v71TS227kqQCLcB/s1600/120824022746-dad-son-story-top.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y6W-Kkh5vD4/V_ZJdQbPUfI/AAAAAAAAGYs/rn2WGqZE-IIrjlymeq9fW_v71TS227kqQCLcB/s200/120824022746-dad-son-story-top.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">They show up. </span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Great dads are involved in their kids’ daily lives and various
extracurricular activities. Whether it be sports events, band concerts, dance
or music recitals, debate competitions, church youth activities, boy or girl
scouts, 4-H, the dads who are making the biggest difference in their children’s
lives make the effort to be present. Granted, I understand that it’s not always
possible, but it needs to be a priority.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-35YtpwUrkjQ/V_ZJQzaCgQI/AAAAAAAAGYo/m168SWbc8TI7yBu-c8BsNtUqvWI-JMP1wCLcB/s1600/30114-dad-and-teen-daughter-1200.1200w.tn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-105LlHhuOns/V_ZJ-2GOVwI/AAAAAAAAGY8/WCiakccRPx42bVcusvs5XEToFJtvIVBwQCLcB/s1600/dad%2Bwith%2Bteen%2Bson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-105LlHhuOns/V_ZJ-2GOVwI/AAAAAAAAGY8/WCiakccRPx42bVcusvs5XEToFJtvIVBwQCLcB/s200/dad%2Bwith%2Bteen%2Bson.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">They listen up.</span> </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Effective fathers are in the habit of actively and reflectively
listening to what their kids are saying. These parents show genuine interest
through their nonverbal and facial expressions. Dads who pay close attention to
both the content of and feelings behind their children’s statements are on the
right track. Great dads are tuned in to their children’s hearts—their hopes,
dreams, aspirations, fears, and concerns. They grasp the deeper—sometimes
hidden—meaning of what their children are trying to communicate and what is
really at stake for them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-og-jb23fZ9g/V_ZODA6FmzI/AAAAAAAAGZo/nwEbCccTvj8UTeUBhCaoVKhjTilYmnEZACLcB/s1600/dad%2Bguidance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="136" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-og-jb23fZ9g/V_ZODA6FmzI/AAAAAAAAGZo/nwEbCccTvj8UTeUBhCaoVKhjTilYmnEZACLcB/s200/dad%2Bguidance.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">They speak up.</span> </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rather than assuming a passive stance—like a bump on a log, effective
dads willingly share their knowledge, perspectives, and cautionary warnings
with their kids. In other words, they impart godly wisdom and common sense when
needed and offer insight to help guide their children’s footsteps down the
safest, healthiest path. By earning their kids’ respect, great dads use their
position of authority and influence to benefit their children’s present and
bless their future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3b88nvTg6To/V_ZNVYF77WI/AAAAAAAAGZc/MglfI_fUY9wAW58NQF2mLzasrGB5hdELACLcB/s1600/dad%2Bdiscipline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3b88nvTg6To/V_ZNVYF77WI/AAAAAAAAGZc/MglfI_fUY9wAW58NQF2mLzasrGB5hdELACLcB/s200/dad%2Bdiscipline.jpg" width="200" /></a><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">They man up. </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">P</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">roviding appropriate rules, proper boundaries, and age-appropriate
discipline is essential when it comes to raising young people. The ultimate
goal is to teach children the importance of self-discipline and self-regulation
so that they turn into obedient, respectful, and responsible adults. Mature
dads don’t shirk their parental role or relinquish their family leadership
responsibilities to others, including their wives or other relatives. Instead,
they fulfill their obligation with grace.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QUHBxdmtsvQ/V_ZJ0AqLqQI/AAAAAAAAGY4/s4l9YQt5feAo3wcAMpSpoDEsaA9zKCWiQCLcB/s1600/dad-and-teen-daughter-alamy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QUHBxdmtsvQ/V_ZJ0AqLqQI/AAAAAAAAGY4/s4l9YQt5feAo3wcAMpSpoDEsaA9zKCWiQCLcB/s200/dad-and-teen-daughter-alamy.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">They pay up.</b> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Great dads do their part to provide financially and materially for their
children. Trustworthy men work hard to earn a decent living so as to adequately
supply the physical needs of their family. They aren’t selfish or irresponsible
with the money they make at their jobs. If good fathers happen to be separated
or divorced for whatever reason from their children’s mother, they aren’t
dead-beat dads who fail to consistently pay their fair share of the
child-support. The Bible says that, “if anyone does not provide for his
relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8, ESV). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0x1twlADKzc/V_ZLfQcvmQI/AAAAAAAAGZM/SmZaylB1pzADfAnPXuRZ76C0LLkFspm4gCLcB/s1600/single-dad-400x295.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0x1twlADKzc/V_ZLfQcvmQI/AAAAAAAAGZM/SmZaylB1pzADfAnPXuRZ76C0LLkFspm4gCLcB/s200/single-dad-400x295.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">They pray up. </span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The greatest dads are those who are consistently mindful of their
children in their daily personal and family prayers. They are very intentional
in remembering to ask God to protect and provide for their kids’ well-being.
They petition God to some day supply godly spouses who will help their children
walk faithfully and make it to heaven. They also ask God to help their children
overcome temptations and weather trials as they grow and mature in their faith.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jrJNC75CDCk/V_ZJqH-2YRI/AAAAAAAAGYw/4LgTt8CPi2cdJylKh9aimwZF_IHxX5VEQCLcB/s1600/dad-and-girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jrJNC75CDCk/V_ZJqH-2YRI/AAAAAAAAGYw/4LgTt8CPi2cdJylKh9aimwZF_IHxX5VEQCLcB/s1600/dad-and-girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jrJNC75CDCk/V_ZJqH-2YRI/AAAAAAAAGYw/4LgTt8CPi2cdJylKh9aimwZF_IHxX5VEQCLcB/s320/dad-and-girl.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">They lift up.</span> </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Great dads are constant encouragers of their children. Always looking
for positive comments and compliments to share, they cheer their sons and
daughters on to greater levels of personal growth, achievement, and success in
their lives as they develop to their full potential. First-rate fathers seek
strengths within their kids and highlight those positives so as to build up
their children’s self-esteem. They affirm their kids to help them feel good
about themselves and their futures.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In summary, great dads . . .
show up, listen up, speak up, man up, pay up, pray up, and lift up their
children.</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-36133925182788535902016-09-22T08:44:00.003-05:002016-09-22T09:51:54.710-05:00The Meaning of Discipleship<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ilgd7d8TDGQ/V-PfPt5gPnI/AAAAAAAAGTE/44fjdhCLtv4dseRbxxWBiWDIHXOvBDN1QCLcB/s1600/discipleship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ilgd7d8TDGQ/V-PfPt5gPnI/AAAAAAAAGTE/44fjdhCLtv4dseRbxxWBiWDIHXOvBDN1QCLcB/s320/discipleship.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Discipleship is a topic we often don’t give enough time and emphasis to
in churches today. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">If we boil it down to its
essentials, there are basically three facets to discipleship: (1) becoming a disciple;
(2) growing as a disciple; and (3) making other disciples.</span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Many Christians might have become disciples
years ago, but they have failed to grow in their discipleship and are
spiritually stagnant now. Perhaps they’ve never taken the initiative to play an
active role in making other disciples and, therefore, have shirked their
God-given responsibility. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some believers simply try to maintain the status quo in their lives rather than
allow Christ to transform them more into His image. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s a sad state of affairs when someone
remains a perpetual babe in Christ, still feeding on the milk of the Word and
never moving on to the solid food reserved for mature Christians.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Hebrews 5:12-14 (ESV) says, “</span><span style="color: black;">For though by this
time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic
principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone
who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a
child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of
discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">True discipleship entails more than mere intellectual assent to the
teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. It means faithfully following in His footsteps.</span><span style="color: black;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZXPqYC_9U3M/V-Pvi5mrqhI/AAAAAAAAGTY/UJpFWMGW_MkTV675d3C7z_cZ3zZGE81twCLcB/s1600/The%2BCall%2Bof%2BChrist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZXPqYC_9U3M/V-Pvi5mrqhI/AAAAAAAAGTY/UJpFWMGW_MkTV675d3C7z_cZ3zZGE81twCLcB/s320/The%2BCall%2Bof%2BChrist.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Did you know </span><span style="color: black;">the word for<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>disciple</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and the word for<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em>discipline</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> are </span>both derived from the same Latin
root—<em>discipulus,</em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>which means student or pupil? It
emphasizes the notion of practice or exercise. Self-discipline and self-control
are supposed to be ongoing characteristics of the followers of Jesus, as exhibited
by Peter, James, and John, who left everything to follow Jesus. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">At its core, discipleship is primarily obedience to our Lord and Savior.
It also involves purity and holiness, giving and serving, and studying God’s
Word and sharing it with others.</span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jesus
said in Luke 9:23-24 (ESV), “If anyone would come after me, let him deny
himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his
life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” He
warned in Luke 14:27 (ESV), “Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after
me cannot be my disciple.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And
if that wasn’t clear enough, Jesus also asserted in Luke 14:33 (ESV), “So
therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my
disciple.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In
the Great Commission, Christ challenged his apostles to “Go . . . and make
disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the
Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded
you” (Matt. 28:19-20a, ESV).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Therefore,
discipleship is not to be a selfish endeavor whereby we become the sole beneficiaries
of the message and blessings of the gospel. Good News ought to be shared with
others. That’s why evangelism and biblical education are essential components
of discipleship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">According to the New Testament, being a Christian disciple involves personal
growth characterized by the following:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">1. Putting Jesus first in all things (Mark
8:34-38)</span><span style="color: black;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">2. Following Jesus' teachings (John 8:31-32)</span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">3. Bearing Fruit (John 15:5-8)</span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">4. Loving other disciples (John 13:34-35)</span><span style="color: black;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">5. Evangelizing the world by making disciples
of others (Matt. 4:19-20; 2 Tim. 2:2)</span><span style="color: black;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No matter what your current maturity level is in the Christian life, you
have something valuable to offer. Don’t believe Satan’s lie that you don't know
enough or haven't been a Christian long enough to make a difference. While you
may not know a lot of Bible verses, you’ve personally experienced the love of
the Savior, and that’s precisely what you need to share. Enthusiasm for Jesus is
contagious.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">In Luke 6:40 (ESV), Jesus said, “A disciple is not greater than his
teacher, but everyone when fully trained will be like his teac</span>her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PUmNNFd9XsM/V-PvtHI8OXI/AAAAAAAAGTc/KEh9GmolACUApjagQ9pC_qwrm949KI5zQCLcB/s1600/yoke.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PUmNNFd9XsM/V-PvtHI8OXI/AAAAAAAAGTc/KEh9GmolACUApjagQ9pC_qwrm949KI5zQCLcB/s320/yoke.png" width="243" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The yoke and the cross are twin symbols of the Christian life. “The
cross speaks of leaving the world for Christ; the yoke speaks of learning in
the world from Christ. The one speaks of sacrifice; the other service. The
disciple must bear both; he cannot choose to take one and leave the other” (The
Prairie Overcomer).<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Are
you a true disciple of Jesus Christ today?</span></span><!--EndFragment-->
</div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-82115461865449520472016-09-14T14:39:00.000-05:002016-09-14T14:39:17.327-05:00Persistence in Prayer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HSpwQy44HL4/V9mm4TMSz_I/AAAAAAAAGRM/QbpadSVN4ww6demuJOGInO4vyVz50sA2QCLcB/s1600/15295-prayer-unlocks-doors.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HSpwQy44HL4/V9mm4TMSz_I/AAAAAAAAGRM/QbpadSVN4ww6demuJOGInO4vyVz50sA2QCLcB/s320/15295-prayer-unlocks-doors.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If
you’re anything like me, I imagine sometimes you find yourself wrestling with
God in your prayer life. It is a challenging experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jesus
told a short—yet powerful—parable in Luke 19:1-8. It goes as follows (ESV):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #783f04;">And he told them a parable
to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. He said, “In a
certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. And
there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me
justice against my adversary.’ For a while he refused, but afterward he said to
himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow
keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down
by her continual coming.’” And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge
says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night?
Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily.
Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We can learn several
valuable lessons from this poignant story. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">First of all, pray fervently
and never give up hope. </span></b>Sometimes we grow weary and want to throw in the towel
prematurely when it comes to our prayer life. Over the past few years there
have been a couple of major things I’ve been praying consistently about. I’ve
been waiting for God to answer definitively, but have not yet seen these
particular prayer requests come to fruition. Waiting has been emotionally and
spiritually exhausting at times. Sometimes it has gotten discouraging and
confusing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And I’ll confess at times
I’ve wondered, “Why haven’t you come through for me yet, Lord? What’s the hold
up? Why the long wait?” At times I’ve realized that my patience has been
wearing down. I’ve also done a lot of self-evaluation to determine if what I’m
asking of the Lord is not only reasonable but also in accordance with his will,
or if my requests are basically self-centered and selfish in nature.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I know in my heart of
hearts that my heavenly Father does indeed care and is listening to my
petitions. I’ve just got to trust that he sees the big picture and is working
all things out for the greater good in his own time. Leaning on the Lord and
not my own understanding has been a challenging but necessary journey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Second, in the parable, the
widow’s persistence with the secular judge for personal justice eventually paid
off. </b></span>It was as if she slowly-but-surely wore him down by her continual appeals.
Even though he wasn’t a very kind or righteous individual, he ultimately gave
her what she asked for—that justice be served. In his case, it seems he simply
wanted to get her off his back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jesus goes on to say that if
such a calloused and uncompassionate individual, who really didn’t care about
the widow’s plight in the first place, gave into her constant badgering, how
much more will our heavenly Father—who cares deeply about each one of us—answer
our prayers in the affirmative?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whether it’s justice,
sustenance, strength, financial stability, healing, protection, companionship,
success, or something else we’re seeking, God is interested in our well-being.
He wishes to help his children. He wants to meet our needs and give us the
desires of our hearts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Third, the parable reveals a
truth to us about the great importance of faith. </b></span>Jesus asks, “When the Son of
Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” (v. 8b) The widow believed that if
she refused to give up, her cause would be upheld. She was, therefore,
tenacious and steadfast.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What about you? How strong
is your belief in God’s goodness and ability to answer your prayers and satisfy
your needs? Do you possess enough faith—even if it’s only the size of a mustard
seed—to move mountains? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Being persistent in prayer will pay off in the end.</span></span><!--EndFragment-->
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-51191179000831437022016-08-27T10:11:00.001-05:002016-08-27T10:20:29.297-05:00How to Help the Hurting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-280iOLu8FyY/V8GrmS9LKsI/AAAAAAAAGPE/MWSNuaZRzHIZdr_kDASoIdJIUeeJ-9YegCLcB/s1600/helping-the-hurting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-280iOLu8FyY/V8GrmS9LKsI/AAAAAAAAGPE/MWSNuaZRzHIZdr_kDASoIdJIUeeJ-9YegCLcB/s320/helping-the-hurting.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">People
are hurting all around us. Everywhere we look there is pain and suffering. It
can be overwhelming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As
Christians, sometimes </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">it’s difficult to know how we should respond to the
hardships experienced by others. Their suffering may come in a variety of forms. Those categories include physical/medical problems, hunger and
homelessness, abuse and neglect, grief and loss, guilt and shame, emotional
difficulties such as depression and anxiety, or broken relationships.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The
question is this: <b>What would Jesus have us do when confronted with the
suffering of others?</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">While
I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers, I'd like to make a few
suggestions to help you help others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Be present. </span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In other words, show up in
person! There is tremendous power in a ministry of presence. After all, Jesus’
ministry was incarnational by its very nature. He made himself physically
present to humanity and all its suffering, showing up in person to help and
heal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">John 1:14 (ESV) says, “And
the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as
of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” Job’s friends did
their best work in providing support and comfort when they simply remained
quiet in their attentive presence (Job 2:11-13). Did you know that the words
LISTEN and SILENT are comprised of the same letters?<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be patient.</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">People who are suffering
are often confused, frustrated, scared, angry, and demoralized. They need
tender loving care that might require a significant sacrifice of time and the
gift of patience on your part. Their faith is often tested and their emotions
are frequently all over the place. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They may even lash out at
you since you’re close by with displaced feelings arising from their anxiety.
Realize that it’s not about you, but rather their deep-seated pain. Therefore,
give them the benefit of the doubt and demonstrate much patience and kindness.
Try to put yourself in their shoes and be empathetic.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be prayerful.</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Pray for individuals who
are suffering. Remember them in your personal prayers when you’re alone. Also,
offer to pray with them, but don’t force it on them. James 5:16 (ESV) says,
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you
may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is
working.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Keep in mind that it is
God who has the real power to help and strengthen the weak. Plug in to your
spiritual power source through prayer.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be polite.</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Respect the space and
privacy of those who are hurting. When visiting someone in the hospital or in
his or her home, don’t overstay your welcome. Follow their lead and pay
attention to social cues. Sometimes, individuals simply aren’t up for a visit
for whatever reason. Perhaps they’re just physically tired and need rest at the
moment. Or else, they would like to be alone for time to decompress and relax. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Often the best visit is a
short one. A brief phone call may actually be more appreciated at times. Also,
be careful not to insult their intelligence by imposing your own personal
opinion and perspective on what they should or shouldn’t do. Respect their
freedom to choose their own course of action. And limit your advice giving.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be practical.</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Instead of saying
something like, “If there’s ever anything I can do, don’t hesitate to ask,” actually
think of hands-on ways you can help. If they are ill or injured, maybe they
need some meals provided, house-cleaning, or yard work assistance.
Perhaps they would benefit from transportation to and from doctor’s
appointments. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Maybe they’re desperate
for some free childcare. If they are financially strained, they could likely
use some cash. Whatever the circumstances, think of practical avenues whereby
you could provide some real aid. Offer specific things you’re prepared to do, but leave it up to them to decide if they feel comfortable accepting
your help. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If they’re not in a
position to respond for some reason, just take care of whatever needs to be
done. In Matthew 25:35-40 Jesus describes this type of hands-on, practical care
in providing food, shelter, clothing, and emotional support. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be positive.</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Those who are suffering
are generally in need of consolation and hope. Remind them that they’re not
alone and that God will see them through come what may. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As a caregiver, try to
remain optimistic and upbeat. Positivity is contagious. Encourage sufferers not
to give up in the face of their struggles. Remind them that things usually have a way
of working out in the end when we keep our trust in the Lord.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Romans 8:28 (ESV) says, “And
we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for
those who are called according to his purpose.”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Let us bring hope to a broken world as we display the love and compassion of Christ.</span></div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-12200457560423678122016-08-23T06:17:00.000-05:002016-08-23T06:17:44.723-05:00Living with Depression is Hard, but not Hopeless<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uUWkglteTzA/V7wwJg-nZBI/AAAAAAAAGOg/t0ynKCmMSCobuS2dichHU5Yw-3CA4XHzwCLcB/s1600/bottle%2Bmessage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uUWkglteTzA/V7wwJg-nZBI/AAAAAAAAGOg/t0ynKCmMSCobuS2dichHU5Yw-3CA4XHzwCLcB/s320/bottle%2Bmessage.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Depression may be a part of you, but it's not all of you. It doesn't need to define you or your life. Sometimes depression can make you feel worthless, powerless, and hopeless. But don't believe those malicious lies. That is distorted melancholic thinking without any basis in reality.</span></div>
<div style="color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remember in God's eyes you're valuable. You're special. You're loved. And your future remains firmly secured in His capable hands. </span></div>
<div style="color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So please don't give up. It's important to recognize you're n</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ot alone. Be kind to yourself. Seek the help you need to get through today. Hold onto hope.</span></div>
<div style="color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #1d2129; display: inline; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Psalm 43:5 (ESV) states:<br />Why are you cast down, O my soul,<br />and why are you in turmoil within me?<br />Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,<br />my salvation and my God.</span></div>
</div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-21868779652854813632016-08-06T08:50:00.001-05:002016-08-06T08:50:26.296-05:00HeartPoint Blog Survey Results<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-57DxDSonbPI/V6XqqrwmW4I/AAAAAAAAGHM/WZ-YoPIBGl8Sw8toipUB8wcmVuKIP1QCgCLcB/s1600/survey%2Bresults.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-57DxDSonbPI/V6XqqrwmW4I/AAAAAAAAGHM/WZ-YoPIBGl8Sw8toipUB8wcmVuKIP1QCgCLcB/s200/survey%2Bresults.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s been a couple of months since I posted my <b>HeartPoint Blog Interest Survey</b>. Thanks
so much for all of you who participated in it and gave your feedback concerning
topics that you would find most relevant to your life in future blog posts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought you’d be interested in seeing what
the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Top Twelve Topics</b> are. They are
as follows along with their popularity rating:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Marriage (52.9%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Family & Parenting Issues (43.1%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ways to Serve (37.3%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Prayer (33.3%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Depression (31.4%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anxiety (27.5%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Discipleship (and Following Jesus) (25.5%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Handling Your Emotions (23.5%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Addictions (21.6%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grief (21.6%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dealing with Conflict (21.6%)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Spiritual Leadership (21.6%)</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Interestingly enough, the last four (of the 12)
tied at 21.6% popularity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While I’m certainly not saying I’ll never write
on any topics outside of these ones, I will most certainly focus a good deal of
attention on them in moving forward with my blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks again for your valuable input!</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4667869870189824328.post-52276669625361030252016-08-05T07:29:00.001-05:002016-08-06T08:36:37.912-05:00The Two Sides of Shame<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wFJZwoA7fmk/V6SF4LKP5wI/AAAAAAAAGGw/DdrPR5fypzoCY9-s-en8dhzNZcg8s8dqwCLcB/s1600/Shame.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wFJZwoA7fmk/V6SF4LKP5wI/AAAAAAAAGGw/DdrPR5fypzoCY9-s-en8dhzNZcg8s8dqwCLcB/s1600/Shame.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“You
ought to be ashamed of yourself!” This was a saying I heard more than once
during my childhood. And you know what? My parents were generally right. My
brother’s and my behavior was often inappropriate—even shameful—and we were deserving
of reprimand and discipline. Our consciences needed to be sensitized.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">These
days, we live in a society that has lost its ability to blush at sin. Now that’s indeed a
shame!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In
the past few years, it has been a popular tendency among social psychologists
to posit shame as always being unhealthy and counter-productive. Researchers
like Brené Brown have polarized guilt and shame making them seem mutually
exclusive. To summarize her perspective, she basically believes guilt is
healthy and adaptive, while shame is always unhealthy and maladaptive. In other
words, guilt = good, but shame = bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I
admit there are parts of Brown’s novel point of view that are appealing, insightful,
and helpful. However, as a whole I believe it is over-simplistic and
one-dimensional.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Her
argument basically goes like this: Guilt is helpful because it holds something
we’ve done or failed to do up against our values, thus keeping us accountable.
Shame, on the other hand, is the trap of believing we are fundamentally flawed
and therefore unworthy of love, acceptance, and meaningful connection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In
this narrow paradigm, shame is a focus on self, while guilt is a focus on
behavior. Shame results in us arriving at the negative and self-damaging conclusion:
“I am bad. I am a mistake.” Whereas guilt acknowledges, “I did something bad. I
made a mistake,” but ultimately motivates us to right the wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Brown
contends shame is highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression,
bullying, suicide, and eating disorders. And in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">some</i> ways she’s correct.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At first glance, Brown’s
perspective is rather interesting and insightful. But if we investigate it a
bit deeper, I believe we will find it’s fundamentally flawed. What she fails to
recognize is the reality that more than one category of shame exists. It’s
unwise to lump them all together and view them as if they’re all the same
thing. They’re not!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">To discover emotional and
spiritual freedom, we need to understand the difference between healthy and
unhealthy shame. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gq3gjLyhviU/V6SGHVGseWI/AAAAAAAAGG0/ZVcF84TbahcmidcERjYgi2C5l2rr0Rg7wCLcB/s1600/Such%2Ba%2Bshame.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gq3gjLyhviU/V6SGHVGseWI/AAAAAAAAGG0/ZVcF84TbahcmidcERjYgi2C5l2rr0Rg7wCLcB/s320/Such%2Ba%2Bshame.png" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If we’re feeling inner
distress and embarrassment because of something irresponsible we did that hurt
someone, this is the healthy version of shame. The painful (perhaps queasy)
feeling is telling us that something contradicted our value system. It’s an
internal alarm system signaling to us we’re in the wrong. Therefore, in order
to regain our sense of personal and relational well-being, we need to make
amends and rectify the situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">By way of contrast,
unhealthy shame occurs when we internalize other people or society’s standards
and expectations, and we feel obligated to maintain the popular or politically
correct status quo. It also occurs when we allow ourselves to be defined by a
weakness or something over which we have no control, including victimhood or
abuse from childhood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Perfectionism on our part
and the inability to live up to our own unrealistic standards may also lead to
unhealthy shame. Furthermore, sometimes others say or do things to
intentionally hurt us or shame us into submission.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">While excessive shame is
at the root of much anxiety and depression, a lack of shame is frequently the
basis of immoral and unethical behavior. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Shame is the first emotion
mentioned in the Bible when Adam and Eve felt it for disobedience to God (Gen.
3:1-12). After Cain murdered his brother Abel, Cain’s lack of remorse and
absence of shame posed a significant problem (Gen. 4:3-12). The men of Sodom
and Gomorrah lacked shame when they sought to sodomize the disguised male
angelic visitors who visited Lot (Gen. 19:1-11). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Jacob shamefully plotted
to steal Esau’s birthright (Gen. 25:27-34) and then later conspired with
Rebekah, his mother, to also rob Esau of the firstborn’s blessing (Gen. 27). Joseph’s
brothers initially lacked shame for their grievous sin against him and their
father when they sold him into slavery and deceived their father into believing
his favorite son had been ripped apart by wild animals (Gen. 37). About 22
years later, they experienced shame when confronted by their brother again in
Egypt, now the prime minister (Gen. 45). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Having excessive shame is better than lacking it altogether. Such individuals behave in
socio-pathological ways. They’re manipulative, arrogant, and sadistic as they take
pleasure in exploiting and hurting others. Their consciences are seared. Their
only ambition is material gain, power, and prestige. They display no compassion
for those they use and abuse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #474747; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Healthy
shame can serve to safeguard us from pursuing things that threaten our social
identity and relationships. It makes us appropriately care about what others
think of us, and thus helps us weigh out the relational consequences of our actions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Prov. 13:5 (ESV) says, “The righteous hates
falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.”</span><!--EndFragment-->
Ryan Fraserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13530010700791040166noreply@blogger.com0