Fatherhood is challenging.
It’s far more difficult than I ever expected before becoming a dad almost two
decades ago. But “daddy-hood” is a tremendous blessing in my life.
As my children are beginning
to get a bit older and my role is gradually shifting in their lives, I’ve
been doing a good amount of thinking about what it takes to be a great dad.
I’ll be the first to confess I still have a long way to go.
So what does it take to
become a great dad? Here are seven things to consider regarding what excellent
fathers consistently do:
They show up.
Great dads are involved in their kids’ daily lives and various
extracurricular activities. Whether it be sports events, band concerts, dance
or music recitals, debate competitions, church youth activities, boy or girl
scouts, 4-H, the dads who are making the biggest difference in their children’s
lives make the effort to be present. Granted, I understand that it’s not always
possible, but it needs to be a priority.
They listen up.
Effective fathers are in the habit of actively and reflectively
listening to what their kids are saying. These parents show genuine interest
through their nonverbal and facial expressions. Dads who pay close attention to
both the content of and feelings behind their children’s statements are on the
right track. Great dads are tuned in to their children’s hearts—their hopes,
dreams, aspirations, fears, and concerns. They grasp the deeper—sometimes
hidden—meaning of what their children are trying to communicate and what is
really at stake for them.
They speak up.
Rather than assuming a passive stance—like a bump on a log, effective
dads willingly share their knowledge, perspectives, and cautionary warnings
with their kids. In other words, they impart godly wisdom and common sense when
needed and offer insight to help guide their children’s footsteps down the
safest, healthiest path. By earning their kids’ respect, great dads use their
position of authority and influence to benefit their children’s present and
bless their future.
They man up.
Providing appropriate rules, proper boundaries, and age-appropriate
discipline is essential when it comes to raising young people. The ultimate
goal is to teach children the importance of self-discipline and self-regulation
so that they turn into obedient, respectful, and responsible adults. Mature
dads don’t shirk their parental role or relinquish their family leadership
responsibilities to others, including their wives or other relatives. Instead,
they fulfill their obligation with grace.
They pay up.
Great dads do their part to provide financially and materially for their
children. Trustworthy men work hard to earn a decent living so as to adequately
supply the physical needs of their family. They aren’t selfish or irresponsible
with the money they make at their jobs. If good fathers happen to be separated
or divorced for whatever reason from their children’s mother, they aren’t
dead-beat dads who fail to consistently pay their fair share of the
child-support. The Bible says that, “if anyone does not provide for his
relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8, ESV).
They pray up.
The greatest dads are those who are consistently mindful of their
children in their daily personal and family prayers. They are very intentional
in remembering to ask God to protect and provide for their kids’ well-being.
They petition God to some day supply godly spouses who will help their children
walk faithfully and make it to heaven. They also ask God to help their children
overcome temptations and weather trials as they grow and mature in their faith.
They lift up.
Great dads are constant encouragers of their children. Always looking
for positive comments and compliments to share, they cheer their sons and
daughters on to greater levels of personal growth, achievement, and success in
their lives as they develop to their full potential. First-rate fathers seek
strengths within their kids and highlight those positives so as to build up
their children’s self-esteem. They affirm their kids to help them feel good
about themselves and their futures.
In summary, great dads . . .
show up, listen up, speak up, man up, pay up, pray up, and lift up their
children.
