Calling All Dads!

As my children are growing older and becoming increasingly more self-sufficient and independent in their lives, I find my respective role to gradually be changing. For instance, these days it seems they need me less as a corrector and more as a confidante; less as guardian and more as a guide; less as a chaperone and more as a coach; and less as a manager and more as a mentor. While their needs are surely shifting, they still need me to be in their lives in different, though equally important, ways than when they were younger.

You see, dads never stop being dads no matter how old their children are. We must remain available to our kids as they grow older, hit important milestones, and experience various challenges and struggles in their lives. It’s a life-long commitment. 

Each stage of life requires a different level of mastery, a new skillset and a greater level of maturity. Dads need to be there to encourage, offer sage counsel, lend support as necessary (emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes financially), serve as a sounding board, and be there to cheer their children on when they succeed or console them when they fail.

For young adults especially, just knowing that your dad is still in your corner and believes in you is a blessing of inestimable value. One of the personal challenges I deal with as a parent of emerging adults is to know when to speak up and when to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I don’t want to smother my children and thereby hamstring them in their maturation process. Neither do I want to enable unhealthy behaviors and choices. I also certainly never want them to feel forgotten or abandoned by me. It’s important to me that feel affirmed as people who are extremely valuable in my eyes, uniquely created by God, and specially gifted for significant works of service in the kingdom of God.

Another important factor to consider as a father is the example of faith, consistency and courage we continue to set for our children throughout their lives. Though I’m most certainly imperfect in many ways, it remains important to me that I model a Christ-like attitude and demonstrate a living faith for my daughter and son. Moreover, I want them to continue to see a good work ethic and responsible outlook that is inspirational and motivational to them. 

So, fathers, I challenge you to evaluate how well you’ve been doing recently in your role as a dad. What have you been doing well recently? What needs of your children have you been neglecting? What responsibilities have you perhaps been avoiding? If you see an area in your fatherhood performance that needs work, resolve to improve on it during the coming days.

Resolve to be the spiritual leader of your household and lead the way by your godly example and kind spirit. Ask for honest feedback from your wife and kids concerning what you could do better as a father and how they need for you to be there for them in their lives.